Relationships

Marry the Right Person

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Hey there! It’s your friendly neighborhood Wellness Turkey, ready to help you navigate the twists and turns of life and love. 🦃💕

 

In 2012, I stumbled upon a poster titled ’21 Suggestions for Success’ by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. at the home of my very successful friend. But let me tell you, the very first suggestion grabbed my heart and wouldn’t let go: ‘Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.’

 

As someone who had experienced a failed marriage, that suggestion struck a deep chord within me, and I couldn’t wait to explore the other 20 nuggets of wisdom.  I began to reflect on the truth behind that statement. I had indeed married the wrong person for me, someone with different interests, values, and parenting approaches. Most notably, my partner grappled with anger issues that made our journey challenging. But here’s the thing: nobody had taught me about the importance of values in relationships when I was in my early twenties. Nobody had given me the tools to find the ‘right’ person.

 

If you’re in the exciting stage of life where you’re exploring love and partnership, here are five key lessons I’ve gathered over the years, lessons that I wish someone had shared with me when I was your age:

 

Values Alignment: Seek partners who share your core values and beliefs. They do not need to have the exact same values as yours as no 2 people are alike, but their values should be similar to yours.  Building a relationship based on shared principles will set the stage for a future filled with understanding and happiness. If you don’t know your values yet, read my blog “Discovering Your True North: A Guide to Finding Your Core Values”.

 

Communication Magic: Embrace the power of open and honest communication. Healthy relationships thrive on the ability to express feelings and needs with kindness and respect.

 

Dreams and Compatibility: Look for compatibility in interests and long-term aspirations. Shared passions and future goals will make your journey together even more rewarding.

 

Respect and Equality: Always remember that mutual respect and equality are the cornerstones of a successful relationship. You should both feel valued, heard, and supported, and your boundaries should always be honored.

 

Self-Discovery and Growth: Prioritize self-awareness and personal growth. Understand yourself and your dreams. Seek a partner who encourages your individual growth and self-improvement journey.

 

Team Member: A successful partnership thrives when both individuals see themselves as part of a team. You’re in this journey together, facing life’s challenges as a united front. Be each other’s support system, cheerleader, and confidant. Remember, it’s not about “you vs. me,” but “us vs. the world.” Together, you can conquer anything life throws your way.

 

My dear young friends, you don’t have to wait until later in life to make these profound choices. Your happiness and fulfillment are worth it, and the right person is out there, ready to join you on this incredible journey. Embrace the wisdom of these lessons, and you’ll be well on your way to a love that’s rich, deep, and meaningful.

 

Now, let’s conclude with Mark’s story:

 

Meet Mark, a passionate architect who chased his dream of opening his own firm. He knew the journey ahead would test him financially and emotionally, demanding long hours and unwavering commitment.

 

Mark shared his dreams and challenges with his fiancé Samantha, hoping for her support as he ventured into entrepreneurship. Samantha assured him that she was on board with his dreams and that she’d stand by his side.

 

However, as the months passed, it became increasingly apparent that Samantha’s words didn’t align with her actions. Instead of sharing the financial burdens that came with starting a new business, she continued to expect Mark to foot the bills for dinners, movies, and holidays. When confronted about it, Samantha’s response cut deep. She said, “Your money is my money, and my money is my money.” In addition, she nagged Mark for working long hours and not spending enough time with her, causing a rift.

 

Mark believed Samantha was “the one” but began to question it. The gap between their values left him heartbroken and uncertain about the future.
Mark faced a choice: continue his dream and strain the relationship or find a partner who understood his journey. He envisioned life with Samantha five years ahead and saw misery if things didn’t change.

 

Realizing he couldn’t sacrifice his ambitions for a stifling relationship, Mark chose to prioritize his dreams and true self. He embarked on a new path, committed to thriving while staying true to himself.

 

In the end, Mark’s story teaches us to recognize red flags in relationships early on. Imagine how those flags will affect you five and ten years down the line. Prioritize your dreams and well-being, for life is too precious to compromise your authentic self. 🌟💫

 

Remember, my Gen Z Visionaries, your journey is uniquely yours. Choose your path wisely and embrace the adventure that lies ahead. Stay tuned for more wisdom from the Wellness Turkey, serving up smart hacks to design your best life! 🦃✨